Good sex in bad relationships. Bad sex in good relationships.
Here are few ways that irregularities can manifest in the emotional and sexual connection between two people. If only one of those two things ensured the other, things would be way easier than many people experience. But of course, the reverse is the case on several occasions and when this happens, it puts a strain on the relationship.
When two people who desire a beautiful relationship lack the emotional connection to back their sexual chemistry; or when their sexual chemistry lacks the emotional closeness needed to make their love thrive, the relationship obviously fails to make much sense, if any.
And it might be a little difficult for people in beautiful relationships but can’t find the right sexual energy to add the needed spark to what they’ve got going.
It would be a waste, and such a huge shame to have to let go of something real because the sex wasn’t up to scratch.
To avoid having to let go of a great relationship because of terrible sex, here are helpful steps you should consider taking:
1. Admit it to your partner
“When sex is satisfactory it is an important component of a relationship — adding about 20 percent to the overall positive experience of the relationship. However, when sex isn’t going well, it registers a negative impact of up to 70 percent on the experience for the individuals,” explains Toronto-based sex therapist Marion Goertz.
“Maybe the sex is not lit enough because you don’t know what the other person wants.”
When sex is bad in a sexual relationship, its effects are potentially widespread and quite damaging. This is why it is important for one or both partners to admit to each other that they are not going about sex in their relationship in the right manner, and the risk their relationship faces due to that.
Knowing what is at stake, and admitting that something needs to be done about it is the first step to dealing with this issue.
2. Commit to the process
Change takes effort and commitment. So it is necessary that both partners are willing to do what it takes to get out of that sexual rut.
If it is one partner who isn’t knowledgeable enough, they should be willing to learn by reading or checking out educative clips. Some sexperts offer training online these days, if your relationship really means something to you and you do not want to lose your partner, such trainings are not too much to pay for.
If you need to introduce toys, go for variety, learn new stuff and include it in your repertoire… then by all means, do it!
“When sex is bad in a sexual relationship, its effects are potentially widespread and quite damaging.”
3. Listen to each other
Maybe the sex is not lit enough because you don’t know what the other person wants. Or because you do not care enough to perform what their biggest desires are.
If that relationship means something to you and you are willing to keep it from failing, then that attitude towards the other person’s sexual needs would have to change.